Making Space for What You Really Want...

When we moved, we got rid of our recliner, leaving us with just a couch in the living room.  It's fine for the 4 of us--we just snuggle on there together!  But, we have family coming to visit in a couple of weeks and so we need a bit more seating.

Yesterday, I told my husband that I was going to sell a pallet bookshelf that I made, to make space for an armchair or loveseat that we wanted to get for extra seating.  I specifically said that I was getting rid of the bookshelf before we found anything, so that it would create the space and allow some type of seating to come to us.  (I know, I know, that sounds so woo-woo...but I'm really getting into the "Law of Attraction" and manifesting what you want to happen!)

So I posted this picture of the bookshelf on a Facebook sale group:

Within an hour, there were 2 people interested in buying it--AND, I had found an armchair with an ottoman for less than what I was selling the bookshelf for!  I hadn't even gotten the bookshelf out of our house, and had already found the extra seating that we needed.  My husband went to pick up the chair and ottoman, and 6 hours after I said "I'm going to sell the bookshelf to make space for extra seating in the living room," it had happened.

So, today, I challenge YOU to get rid of something that's taking up space in your life:

clothes?  

shoes?  

books?  

work hours?  

extracurricular activities for the kids?  

"I'll do it someday" hobby items?

...and see what manifests once you make the space for something new to come into your life!

A 'Good' Day

Did you ever have one of those days were everything just seemed to go right?

You hit all green lights driving to work, things run smoothly at work, you arrive early to get the kids from school (instead of your usual running late!), then the kids are in a good mood and you easily make supper without any glitches...

You know, one of those 'fairytale' days, where you imagine yourself twirling through your day, waving your magic wand and everything is perfect!

Did you ever stop to think what makes it a good day, versus a bad day?

What if the only criteria between having a good day versus a bad day is how we thinkabout our day?

If you hit all red lights, get hit with unexpected things at work, run a little late to get the kids, then they're hungry and grouchy, and you forget some ingredients for supper...  These could all be situations to make you think you're having a bad day.  

OR, they could be little lessons meant to teach you something about yourself:

Red lights mean you need to take a moment to stop and breathe.

Unexpected things at work mean you need to be more flexible and adaptable.

Running late to get the kids means you need to plan your time better.

Hungry and grouchy kids are testing your patience :)

Forgetting ingredients for the recipe means you need to be more detail oriented--or spontaneous with your cooking--or both!

I've recently started reading books by Dr. Wayne Dyer, and he speaks a lot about changing our thought patterns to change our lives.  I used to lean towards the pessimistic side, but have been consciously working on changing my thoughts to line up more with the kind, grateful, happy, energetic, inspiring, generous life that I want to live.

I also realized something very interesting about having a "good day"...why do we tend to anticipate the bad days?  Why can't we just have a good day, enjoy it, be grateful for it, and anticpate another one?  Why do we get programmed to think "yeah, today's a good day--but I wonder what will happen tomorrow {later/next week/etc}?"  

My hypothesis:

We get programmed to feel guilty about feeling good!

When we feel good, there is always someone out there who is not feeling good.

But that doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't feel good.

We can take our good feelings and spread them around to others.

Maybe your smile and friendly 'hello' will turn a stranger's 'bad day' into a good one!

Maybe your warm hug and gentle voice will sooth your child's stress.

Maybe your listening ear will help a friend vent her frustrations.

See what 'kind' of day you have tomorrow...and see if you can recognize how your thoughts create the kind of day you're having.  

{And then adjust them if needed!}

Simplifying your...thoughts?

My mind always seems to be busy.

If I'm not mentally planning out my day (or week, or month), I'm thinking about something that already happened, or might happen in the future.

It's hard for me to just be.  For my mind to just be here now.

One thing that I've found that helps is meditation.

I went to a group meditation practice (inconsistently--but I still went) In Colorado Springs, and loved the connection to others while also being present and still with myself.

I try to practice meditation on my own, at home...but I tend to procrastinate or avoid it all together.  Because when you're stuck with your own thoughts--there's no doing the dishes or laundry, or anything else to occupy your mind and distract you from what really needs to be dealt with--it can be a bit scary!

Meditation practice is just that--practice.  There's no right or wrong way to do it (believe me, I've critiqued myself enough on this!)--you just find a comfortable position and focus on your breathing.  The rhythmic inhale and exhale.  You can imagine your thoughts are like clouds floating by--watch them come in, and watch them leave--and when you get stuck on a thought, return to your breathing. 

My thoughts were like a runaway freight train when I first started meditating--I actually pictured a train speeding by--that's how many thoughts I had at once!  But as soon as you can allow your thoughts to come and go, it gets better.  Meditation is not about 'stopping your thoughts' as I mistakenly thought it was--it's about allowing your mind to be still.  And when thoughts or feelings arise--let them surface, and then return your focus to your breath.

Another helpful thing to keep your focus on the present is to say a mantra while you breathe.  It can be anything you want to concentrate on for that moment (or day, or week).  Something like "all good things come to me" on the inhale, and "all good things come from me" on the exhale.  Or "I am calm/relaxed/balanced" as you breathe in and out.  

The beauty of meditation is: It's totally personal--and no one knows what you're saying in your head as you breathe in and out!  It's your own special time to slow your body, mind, and breath.  Take notice right now--what is your breathing like?  Is it quick and shallow?  How often do you breathe deep and slow?  When you meditated, you don't have to force your breathing to slow down--it just naturally does, the more you allow yourself to just be still.  

And because meditation is completely personal, you can do it for as long or as little as you like!  When starting out, a few minutes (3-5) was sufficient for me.  Now, 10-15 minutes seems to be a good fit.  A few minutes (or seconds!) every day seems to be the most beneficial, rather than a longer meditation less frequently.  It's kind of like exercising, for your mind :)

Give it a try and see what happens...

UNrushed School Mornings!

It's back to school season, so I'll apoligize now for all of the school related posts!

Our kids are into their second week of school already, and I wanted to share what's been working for us to have the 'not-quite-so-rushed' morning routine:

1.  Lunches are packed the night before.  Every. Single. Time.

I usually wash out their PlanetBox lunch boxes as soon as they get home from school.  Then right after we finish supper, I pack their lunches.  If they're taking some leftovers, it's the perfect time to pack them up--before they ever make it to the fridge!  

 (P.S. That's not an affiliate link--these lunchboxes are just *that awesome* that I wanted to share!)

I mean seriously, how good does that look?!  

All one piece: easy to pack, easy to wash!

2.  Everyone is bathed at night.  

This is an absolute must.  There is certainly not enough time to wake up AND wash off in the mornings.  Ever.

3. The youngest wears her clothes to bed.  For real.

When I tell people this, they usually have one of two reactions:

They either look at me weird--or they say "That is SUCH a good idea!"  

Our daughter has to feel comfortable in her clothes.  If something doesn't feel quite 'right' she has to change.  Sometimes more than once.  This does not make for a speedy morning routine.  So, after she gets out of the tub, instead of pajamas, she puts on her clothes for the next day.  I have less laundry to wash, and she's ready to go as soon as she stumbles sleepily out to the kitchen for breakfast!  Win-Win!

4.  I get up WAY before the kids (as in at least an hour or 2),  

and have breakfast ready and waiting on the table for them.

This helps keep things moving--there is less temptation to get sidetracked by Legos when breakfast is ready as soon as they wake up!  This also helps make sure they can get a hearty breakfast in their bellies, since we're not just grabbing something as we run out the door!

These are a few things that have helped our family the past couple of weeks.  Sure, we still get rushed in the mornings--if I can't stand to wake them up when I should, because they're sleeping so soundly!  But for the most part, this is working out nicely--and hopefully it can help you too!

Off to school...

Why do we not talk about how emotional it is to send your child off to their first day of Kindergarten? 

Just like other 'quiet topics' surrounding children {miscarriages, infertility, postpartum depression, etc.}, our culture doesn't do a very good job preparing parents--especially mothers--for what it's REALLY like to drop your child off (or send them on the bus) for their first day at school.  

  

Those of you who've already sent your child off to school probably know exactly what I'm talking about.  For those of you who haven't experienced this yet, because your children aren't old enough--or you don't have children (yet)--or for those of you who don't or won't have children, but are still reading just for fun, let me try to explain it...

As soon as you become a parent, your entire life is devoted to someone else.  You eat, sleep, and breathe parenting philosophies, caretaking endeavors, nutrition, hygiene, and life skills of another human being.  It's extremely easy to forget who you are--your individual self--because of the amount of attention and care that is required by this other being.  And while all of this time and effort that is given to this little human that you're raising is more than worth it--it's still mentally and physically depleting.  

After 5 continuous YEARS of living your life almost entirely for someone else, you begin to find yourself yearning for that 'me time' that comes with shipping your child off to school.  You think about the abundance of money that comes when daycare bills end.  You daydream about eating lunch sitting down, while simultaneously having an uninterrupted adult conversation....and twirling through a field of daisies with the wind gently blowing your hair...

Ok, maybe not the daisy part.

But you get what I'm saying: the start of school seems to be the light at the end of the toddler-stage-of-parenting tunnel.

And here is what actually happens when you let go of that tiny little hand and reassure them that they'll have a great first day of school:

You suddenly have an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

You think "I should've played more games with her!"

and, "Oh, she really is so sweet and polite!"

and, "A full day of school is really long!"

and, "I wish she could stay home just one more day!"

When just the day before, you were thinking "school can't come soon enough!" as you were refereeing a fight between siblings, or answering the 500th "why?" question of the day...

And because of this extreme pendullum swing of emotions, you feel the tears well up in your eyes--and you're grateful that it's a sunny August morning and you're wearing sunglasses.  

You wonder what is wrong with you, and why you feel so sad about this milestone that's been written on the calendar for weeks--for which you had a mental countdown ticker running.  And you try to hold the tears back, to be 'strong' for your child.  You don't want her to see you upset, because you fear that then she'll be upset--which will make you burst into tears right then and there.

Well, I'm here to tell you: there is nothing wrong with you.  

Every mother feels this way.  Even to some degree.  Sure, there may be mothers who don't feel it as strongly as others--but I'm pretty sure we're all in the same boat.

If you're a mother (sorry fathers--I don't think it's as intense for you!), and you have a kindergartener this year--I see you.  

I see you and I don't judge you.  

If you need to run to the car and unload all of those feelings--please do.  

Cry for the toddler that graduated to kindergarten today.  

Cry for the moments that weren't the most pleasant for you or your child.  

Cry for the last 5 years that you were a mother before your individual self.  

Cry for all of the mothers everywhere who share this pain silently.

And then go get yourself the biggest, best cup of coffee you've ever had, and pat yourself on the back for a job well-done on raising an awesome human being that just entered the school system.

If you're not a mother {of a kindergartener} but have a friend who is--give her a hug.  Or take her that awesome cup of coffee and have an uninterrupted adult conversation with her.  

It'll make her day more than you'll ever know.

To all the mothers out there: keep up the good work.

Can you tell we sent our youngest off to school this week? 

The 'Not-So-Tiny' Tiny House Jamboree!

(View from the stage before Zach Giffin and Andrew Morrison spoke.)

Wow.  Where to begin...

I was invited to speak at the first national Tiny House Jamboree in Colorado Springs, which took place last weekend (Aug. 7-9th), and originally I was also going to have a booth for Simplify Your Stuff, as well.

And then we moved 6 hours away.

So, I decided not to have a booth since I wasn't "local" anymore...and boy, am I glad I didn't have to man a booth by myself for 3 days--at an event that brought in 40,000+ people!!

Instead, I got to take in (almost) the entirety of the event.

I had amazing conversations with some of the leaders in the Tiny House movement.

That's right, it's a movement, folks.

This isn't an 'Adkins diet' fad for living in a small house.

This is here to stay.  

It has to.  

Our planet and its resources can't take it anymore.

We need to stop consuming on such a large scale...and a pleasant side effect of dialing back our consumption is not needing to work 40, 50, 60+ hours per week to pay for our ginormous houses!  We can have more time to enjoy life.  What a concept!

What if your monthly electric bill was in the 10's of dollars?  or...FREE?

What if you weren't 'stuck' in utility bills, mortgage payments, and upkeep of a huge house?

What if you knew what every single item in your home was? 

(Can you even fathom that right now?!)

And that's where I fit into all of this.  

I was at the Jamboree to talk about how to simplify your stuff.  

How to get rid of stuff so you can fit into a tiny house!

To speak on a stage that also held individuals who are on TV was quite surreal.  Some people were overheard saying "Oh, Molly--I want to see her speak--she's that organizer girl"...while others were literally wondering why I was there to speak in the first place!

I felt a bit out of place at first.  I was the 3rd speaker on the first day of the event.

There were probably about 150 people listening to me speak (way less than what is pictured above!)--and by no means were people taking pictures of me the way they were of just about everyone else!  (Which is good--that would be weird!)

I recognized some of the other speakers from their blogs, and Facebook pages--but couldn't necessarily tell you their names!  I was kind of on the 'outskirts' of the tiny house movement, I guess.

After my nerves calmed down, when I was finished speaking, I got to mingle and just hang out with people the rest of the weekend.  It was awesome!  To be surrounded by SO many people who share common interests is really invigorating (and a bit overstimulating, too--even for an extrovert!)

My speaking session:

To be honest, most of what I spoke about was a blur...I blame that on nerves.

But, it was also because I sort of followed my note cards, but I improvised too.

And I'm glad I did.  

I spoke from the heart about how we--as a society--are buried under too much stuff.

Our 'good stuff' is under the "got if for free" stuff.

And the "so-and-so gave it to me" stuff.

And the "it was on sale" stuff.

And the "I might need it some day" stuff.

I spoke about how I started Simplify Your Stuff: I helped a friend organize her playroom (4 hours of non-stop, pure bliss for me!)...and how she encouraged me to do this as a 'business.'  To which I never thought anyone would pay for!

I talked about de-owning--not necessarily down-sizing your stuff--but getting rid of excess--and how it truly is freeing.

I gave tips for most areas of your home and how to get started with declutting and de-owning in those areas.

I saw people taking notes, and laughing, and, really 'getting it.'

And that made all of the anticipatory stress of my first public speaking event worth it!

I want to thank Darin and Coles with EcoCabins, for getting this even together!  Their amazing team of employees and volunteers--oh, the volunteers!--made this event spactacular!

I also want to give a big virtual hug to all of the 'tiny house' friends I have now, thanks to the event!  There really is nothing better than feeling connected to people who share a sense of 'common good' for humanity and the planet.

My heart is full.

Here's to living more sustainably, following our passions, and healing the Earth!

In simplicity,

Molly