The genders and their 'stuff'

I know there will be people who fall outside of these generalizations that I'm about to make, but for the sake of simplicity in this post--here goes:

Women tend to have more 'fashion-oriented' stuff, and men have more 'hobby-type' stuff.

And here is what we do about that: 

Women--realize that nothing you put on your body will ever change who you are inside.

Men--realize that nothing you have to use for  ______  {fill in the blank} will ever change who you are inside.

Once we realize that who we are is not based on what we wear or what we own, life gets a whole lot simpler.

I recently read this article and it summed it up nicely.  Women tend to buy more to try to BE more...and that's exactly what our consumeristic society wants you to do.  But the message we receive from advertisers is that we're inadequate {without whatever they're selling}--not because that's the truth--but because that will make the companies a buck. It's always about profit.  Always has been, and always will be.

Once you can read between the lines (and realize the lie that you're being fed), everything makes sense and it's easier to NOT buy things thinking they will make you someone you're not.

I stopped wearing make-up over 5 years ago.  

(I didn't wear a lot to begin with, but I did actually put something on my face every day.)

No one has ever said a word to me about not wearing make-up.  Even if someone had, it wouldn't have made a difference anyway.  Sure, my skin gets a bit shiny here and there, but besides glaring a flash from my face in a random picture--it doesn't reduce my quality of life one bit.

And it saves me a whole lot of time and money every day.

{I can hear some of you gasping as you read this right now!}  

It might feel scary to do it--but I challenge every single lady reading this right now to go somewhere without any make-up on (a place you would normally wear it)--and see if you survive.  (Also, take note of how much faster you get ready!)

Then move on to clothing.

See if you can simplify what you wear for one week--then two--then three.

{And leave me a comment on the Facebook page so I know you did it!}

And now for the men...

Since I'm a woman, I can't speak from personal experience, but from what I see when helping clients organize:

Men want to keep memorabilia from their childhood--but hopefully they've grown a bit since then!  Sure, it's a nice reminder of fun times, but if it's not serving a purpose now--get rid of it.  (And please don't keep it because you're "saving it for the kids"--because they'll just keep it stored in a box and won't want to get rid of it because you gave it to them!)

Men also want to keep "manly" things like tools and gear and 'guy' stuff--even if they haven't used it in YEARS.  It doesn't make them any tougher (or smarter or stronger) just by having an accumulation of things they don't use.  

So let them go.

Like I said before: I realize these are very broad generalizations--but if you fit into one of these categories, do yourself a favor and evaluate what you have and where you'd like to spend your time.

It's worth the hard work.  I promise.

The BEST time to purge:

Our culture likes to do 'spring cleaning' but when is the best time to purge some stuff?

Since we've moved a lot in our 12 years of marriage (like 12 times!), I've always found that I like to purge when I move.  (Or maybe I like to move so it makes me purge?!)

But what if you haven't moved in a while and don't plan on moving any time in the near future?  When should you plan a purge?

Right NOW.

Sure, you can always say "I'll do it on Monday," but there really is no better time than right now.

You don't have to wipe out 90% of what you own.  It could be one thing or one box full of stuff--any amount that you can--but just do it now.  

Simplifying has a huge snowball effect.  It's amazing.  As soon as you get started, you can see and feel the benefits, and it's sometimes hard to STOP!

You can make it silly (race your kids to fill a box)--or be totally serious (sort, sell, repeat)--however you choose, the only rule is to start right now!

If you're on Facebook, pop over and comment to let us know what you purged (post a picture!)--tag your friends and tell your neigbors--get those donation boxes filled up!

Who's with me?!  Let's get to work!

Stuff and Guilt.

Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.[1] It is closely related to the concept of remorse.    ~Wikipedia

What does it feel like to read that?  

How many things do you have in your house right now simply because you would feel guilty if you got rid of them?  2? 5? 100?

When we get rid of things, we're not sending away the memory that the item represents, we're simply sending the physical object on its way.  

We're freeing up physical space.  

We're creating opportunities for energy to flow more freely.

So why is it so hard for us to send things on their way?

Imagine your most prized posession.  Maybe it's in the room with you now.

Now imagine getting rid of it.  

Selling it.  Dropping it off at the thrift store--it doesn't matter where it goes, just that it's out of your life.

What does that feel like?  Does your heart sink as you envision it going out the door?  

Why?

Would you feel like less of a person without it?  Like you'd lose a piece of yourself if it's not in your posession?

Let me ask you this:  Are you the same person when you're on vacation?  When you're out of your 'normal' routine?

Yes?

Then you'd be the same person without that thing.  It's just an object.

I know--how could I speak so poorly about your ____________ {insert name here}...but if you take a step back and look at the item from an outsider's point of view, you can see that it's just that thing.

This is the frame of mind you need to be in when simplifying your stuff: As an outsider seeing items for what they really are--not the strong memories they represent--but the actual physical items themselves.  

I know it's hard.  And sad.  And stressful to make yourself do this.  

But if you truly want freedom from things, it's a necessary evil.

And you can do it.  You have what it takes.

Dig deep and get to work!

Simplifying more than 'stuff'

I like to organize and simplify 'things' but sometimes we need to simplify our lives in general.  When you hit that "everything is stressing me out" feeling, you know it's time to take a step back and evaluate your day-to-day life.

If you could watch your life from an observer's perspective--what would it look like?

Hitting the snooze button a few times, dragging yourself out of bed--too exhausted to truly be present with your kids, frantically rushing out the door, running kids to school and yourself to work, trying to play catch-up with your to-do list, rushing through lunch to finish more work, picking kids up from school and running to activities, trying to quickly make dinner (or hitting the drive-thru), finishing up more work, getting kids ready for bed, cleaning up from dinner, getting to bed too late...restless night of sleep...waking up and repeating it all over again...???

Believe me, I fall into this category completely!  The 'always doing something' category.

It's partly my personality, partly anxiety, partly 'not-wanting-to-really-face-issues-that-need-attention' syndrome.  But if I take the time to just stop--truly stop--for 10 minutes, 2 minutes, even 30 seconds--it helps bring everything back into perspective.  

When we rush from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next...and never give our minds (or bodies) a chance to take a breather, it can wear out our lives to the point of causing chronic stress and anxiety issues.  And then how do we handle that?  By doing 'more' to compensate for the feelings of being out of control.  It's weird how we, as humans, tend to do the opposite of what our minds and bodies really need.  

Stressed about weight?  We eat.

Depressed and lonely?  We shut ourselves inside and watch tv.

Sleep deprived?  We drink coffee and stay up too late.

When we can stop and just BE--just for a minute--we can focus on what we truly need.  And if we can meet that specific need--the true need--not what our craving is telling us, or our anxiety is telling us--then we can give our minds and bodies what they need and stop doing/thinking/saying detrimental things. 

But how do we find the time to stop and just be?

We simplify our lives:

Turn off the tv.

Say 'no' to things we don't really want to do.

Clear out the clutter.

Schedule down time.

Go to bed earlier.

Say 'yes' to things we really want to do.

{This may sound counterproductive--but if you can do things you love to do--it can give you energy and motivation because it's fulfilling and rewarding.}

Simplifying the 'stuff' helps us simplify our lives...but sometimes we need to go one step further and simplify our daily schedules.  

So...How will you simplify your life this week?

Moving without Movers (and keeping your sanity!) Part 2:

If you missed Part 1, you can find it here.  We talked about packing up all of your decorative items.

Part 2 consists of the main packing--your 'everyday' items.  Please--please--do not pack things you don't love or use anymore!  Moving is the absolute perfect time to purge your stuff.  Don't box it up, load it up, unload it, unpack it...and then still never use it!  Sell it--or better yet--donate it!

I like to have a donation box right by the door and as I come across things we no longer need or use--and I put them directly into the box.  Then the next time I leave the house, I drop it off at the local thrift store.  It feels good to think about moving one LESS box!

So--back to packing:

Obviously you'll need to be ready to load your rental truck on the date you reserve it...but how do you get from 'everything is unpacked' to 'everything is packed' when you still need to use things?

Simple: pack a suitcase like you're going on vacation.

Pack your toiletries, vitamins/medicine, clothes, the book you're reading, a couple of pairs of shoes, jacket/sweater (depending on the season), towel & washcloth, cell phone charger, laptop, etc.

These will be your 'everyday' supplies.

Now you're free to pack everything else!  {Obviously a suitcase is needed for each member of the family and their own personal belongings will go into it.  Don't forget the kids' favorite books and stuffed animals!}

I'm sure you're probably thinking "But what about the kitchen?  Food, dishes, etc!"

Here is my little secret to packing up the kitchen items days before you're ready to move out: camping supplies.  

We use 'real dishes' for camping, which are nice and neatly contained in a plastic tub.  As I pack all of the dishes in our kitchen, we'll still have silverwear, cups, plates, and bowls available in our easy-to-access camping tub!

If you don't have camping supplies, just create a 'mock tub' and put a single set of dishes for each member of the family in the designated box or tub, so you can access it easily and it doesn't accidentally get boxed up and piled underneath a lot of other stuff.

You can do the same thing with food.  Pack a few days' worth into a separate box and leave it accessible.  Then you're free to pack up all of the remaining food items and you'll only have one box of food to toss into the truck at the very end!

It may feel a little weird to 'live' out of a suitcase in your own home for a few days (or a week!), but trust me--it will make the packing phase a little easier--and you don't have to wait until the entire last minute to pack the majority of your things.  No pulling 'all-nighters' to pack while your kids sleep...only to be exhausted for the entire moving process.  Especially if you're renting and driving a big moving truck--you want to be as well-rested as possible!

Hopefully this will help you with your next move without movers!

Here are a few more packing tips & tricks:

• Put drinking glasses inside old socks and gently stack inside boxes
• Use kitchen and bath towels to wrap around plates, bowls, and dishes
• Keep untensils inside the organizer (if you have one), wrapped in a towel
• Don't get a full load of groceries right before you move!
• Use 'dead space' to pack things: inside the toaster oven, microwave, etc
• Keep clothing in your dresser drawers while moving (remove drawers to carry the dresser, then replace the drawers once it's loaded in the truck)
• Keep hung clothing on hangers, simply slip a garbage bag over them (from the bottom up-- and tie around the top of the hangers)
• Use a comforter to wrap around the tv and place it on a seat in a vehicle (if you don't have a box to pack it in)

And--last, but not least:  

If you have young children--an empty box and lots of crayons--can provide hours of entertainment for them (while you pack)!

Moving without Movers (and keeping your sanity!) Part 1:

In our (almost) 12 years of marriage, we've lived in 10 different homes (11 if you count the 3-month stint at my in-laws when we moved back to PA).  We've moved from PA to CO, back to PA, and then back to CO--all without ever hiring a moving company--so I feel like I've got the long distance moving thing 'down'.

Since we're moving back to Bayfield (400 miles away) in less than 2 weeks, I thought I would share my moving tips since I'm going through all of them right now!  These posts will show you  how to not lose your mind if you decide to do all of the moving yourself {...and you can!}.

When you stop to look around your home after you know you're moving, it can be very overwhelming...where do you start?!

The first things to pack are the last things to unpack: decorations.

This is when I'm very grateful that we live simply...

This picture shows all of our decorative things from the entire house:

If you're in that 'I can't start packing yet, because I'll still need to use things for a while' stage--packing up your decorative items is the perfect place to start.  

Here's a quick breakdown of how to do it efficiently:

Step 1:  Gather every single decorative item you own.

This step requires you to be very observant!  It's easy to miss things that you're used to looking at everyday.  (I had our 9 year old walk through the house after I thought I was finished, and he found another picture that I missed!)

Find a nice workspace to lay out what you have, so you can pack similar-sized items together. {A dining room table is perfect for this!}

Step 2:  Get your boxes and packing material ready.

Different sized boxes make packing fragile things easy...they aren't as likely to break when packed in a smaller space.  I had some sewing material that I was considering donating to the thrift store, but I realized that it would be the perfect thing to wrap the 'breakables' in when we move...glad I kept it!

I can pretty much 'eye up' spaces and know what will fit where...but if you're 'spatially challenged' (like my husband!), you might need to gently set the items into the box you want to use before you wrap everything up and start packing things, just to make sure they will fit in that particular box.

{Grocery stores, shoe stores, friends who just moved, and Craigslist are all great places to aquire free boxes!}

Step 3:  Carefully wrap, box, tape, and label your items.

Ok, this is more like Steps 3-6, but for your sanity, I am not writing out each of them!  Just remember to mark what's inside the box, so when you're unpacking, you're not surprised every time you open a new box!

Maybe it's because I've never hired anyone to pack and move our stuff, but I don't think I would love unpacking as much as I do, if someone else packed it up--I'd have no idea what is where!  I also think it makes it much quicker to unpack when you pack everything in 'categories' (like with like), as you're not distracted by bathroom items when you're unpacking clothing, etc.

There will be times when you need to put an unrelated item into the box, just because it fits so well (or you're running out of boxes!), but for the most part, try to keep 'like with like' when packing.  

Trust me--you'll appreciate this attention to detail when you're unpacking!

Other things to do in this 'beginning' stage of moving:

• Gather seasonal items/decorations (hopefully they're already boxed up)
• Change your address with banks, insurance companies, utility company, etc
• Kids' stuff: pack up hand-me-downs, out-of-season items, & most of their toys
• Sell/donate unused items...this is my absolute favorite time to purge!
• Reserve your moving truck online

Moving can be a stressful time in life, but with some planning, preparation, and patience--it doesn't have to be the 'worst' time in life!